How to cook and serve Cthucken

Like a turducken but with more Cthulhu

Dave Sag
5 min readDec 14, 2023

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Made up (AI generated) book cover for The Cthukken
I swear it’s a real book (Image by Dall-E via the author)

In the shadowed recesses of an ancient library, where the musty scent of decaying tomes mingled with the dust of forgotten eons, there dwelled an engineer of uncommon curiosity and intellect, named Jonathan Hargrave. His life, dedicated to the pursuit of mechanical marvels and the unraveling of scientific mysteries, had led him down many a strange and arcane path. Yet, nothing in his methodical existence had prepared him for the discovery of the manuscript — a recipe, it seemed, penned in human blood, an indecipherable script that danced and writhed upon the parchment like living shadows. The recipe, hidden amongst the cobwebbed shelves, whispered promises of forgotten culinary secrets and forbidden flavors, drawing Jonathan in with an almost sentient allure. As he pored over the cryptic instructions, his dreams began to be invaded by visions of a grotesque yet magnificent feast, where shadows feasted upon shadows in an eldritch banquet.

Each night, these phantasmagoric banquets grew more vivid, the inky tendrils of the dish reaching out from his nightmares into his waking thoughts. The engineer, once so governed by logic and reason, found himself consumed by an obsession to recreate the dish — a task that proved maddeningly impossible. Ingredients listed in the recipe were of no known origin, their…

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